JUMPingOFFthePages

i hate this. i want to be someone who gets a bunch of parts that are “small parts” (*in a mocking voice* “there are no small parts, only small actors.”) and is perfectly happy, but i’m not. i hate this feeling. i don’t think i’m freaking amazing. i know i’m not the best, but i wish that i could have something. i want to have more than 5 lines and be in more than one scene. take that back, i just want to be able to show my talent. not that i want to be the star and show everone that i’m amazing, i just want to be dramatic. i hate that we’re doing a comedy. i’m not excited for this play right now. i’m sure i’lll warm up to it, but i hate it right now. i don’t like the genre. i don’t like the casting. i don’t like it. i hope that i get into Anderson and i get into the Theatre stuff there, and we get to do dramatic stuff. i want to scream and cry. i want to have to have emotion. i want to do something that makes people think and feel something. i want to do a show that make people cry. something that will have an effect on someone’s life. something like Bang Bang You’re Dead or The Laramie Project. it doesn’t even have to go that far, it could be something less deep. something like Hamlet. i just want people to feel something from our shows. i hate that we always just want to make people laugh. why is laughter our main focus??? i mean i love laughing. i think it’s a very important thing to do EVERY SINGLE DAY of you’re life, but that doesn’t mean we have to give them that bit of laughter. even when we did a “dark” serious show, it was funny. i mean Night of the Living Dead was dramatic, but it made people laugh a lot too. and outside of the nightmeres kids had, we didn’t leave an impression on people i don’t think. they didn’t find some moral. they didn’t have to feel anything. i want to say i do the Theatre stuff and when people ask what show we’re doing next. i don’t want to hear “oh! that should be fun!” when i tell them. i want them to say something like “that’ll be intense.” i just want to do something that will leave an impression on people. uuuhhh… okay i’m done complaining now. i just had to get that off my chest. let me think of something happy now. hhhhmmmmm…. oh! i got it! i’m getting a new phone tomorrow. The Voyager. it’s actually used, but whatever. it’s good enough for me. :D okay, well i’m super excited and i’m going to love the touch screenness! :D :D :D :D